Growing Up Christian

 

Chapter-by-Chapter Highlights of

Growing Up Christian:

Have You Taken Ownership of Your Relationship with God?

by Karl Graustein

The following summary gives highlights from each chapter of Growing Up Christian.  Each sentence is practically word-for-word from the book.  My (Ryan Limbaugh) hope is that the following summary of highlights will help Christian teenagers of Anniston Bible Church better identify their spiritual struggles and give them practical steps with how to deal with them.  I also hope that Christian parents will be made more keenly aware of what struggles their children may have because of growing up in a thoroughly Christian environment.  Nothing can replace reading the book for yourself, but this summary may prove to be a helpful resource when trying to get a grip on a church kid's struggles.  The book itself is based on the Scriptures, and is full of Scripture references and explanations.  I chose not to fill this summary of highlights with Scripture references and explanations because I would basically have to reproduce the entire book. Please read and seek to be helped by the insights of this valuable book by Karl Graustein.

   

Chapter 1 Highlights - Church Kids: The Dynamics of Growing Up Christian

What is a church kid?  Church kids are individuals who have grown up in the church.  They come from Christian homes, have Christian parents, and have attended church their entire lives.  They live in a Christian culture surrounded by Christians at home, church, and often school. 

J. C. Ryle on the privilege and danger of having religious parents:

"I ask the children of religious parents to mark well what I am saying.  It is the highest privilege to be the child of a godly father and mother, and to be brought up in the midst of many prayers.  It is a blessed thing indeed to be taught the gospel from our earliest infancy, and to hear of sin, and Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and holiness, and heaven, from the first moment we can remember anything.  But, oh, take heed that you do not remain barren and unfruitful in the sunshine of all these privileges: beware lest your heart remains hard, impenitent, and worldly, notwithstanding the many advantages you enjoy.  You cannot enter the kingdom of God on the credit of your parents' religion.  You must eat the bread of life for yourself, and have the witness of the Spirit in your own heart.  You must have repentance of your own, faith of your own, and sanctification of your own."

Chapter 2 Highlights - In or Out? The Danger of False Assurance

The most significant danger church kids face is false assurance of salvation - assuming that we are saved even when we are not. 

Salvation is a matter of the heart.  Salvation is a matter of your heart, not your parents' hearts.  You must have faith.  You must believe.  Don't miss those important words in Romans 10:9: "believe in your heart."  A true Christian is a Christian at heart.  Genuine salvation requires personal faith.  Although it can be easy for us to worship God with our lips or to say the right thing at the right time, that is not enough.  Ultimately, salvation is about God's living in us, which then enables us to live the Christian life. 

Has your Christianity penetrated to where you really live, or are you sitting numbly through church services, missing life-giving messages while you think about your sports game or social activities?  Have tears and prayers and sermons been wasted on your barren heart?  Are you so accustomed to hearing the gospel that your soul sleeps under it? 

Self-Test

When you are by yourself...

• Do you pray? What do you pray about?
• Do you read the Bible? Do you enjoy reading your Bible? Do you experience God teaching you when you read your Bible?
• Do you worship God? Why do you worship?
• Do you think about God? What aspects of God do you think about?
• Do you confess your sin to God?

Your motives...

• Why do you pray?
• Why do you read your Bible?
• Why do you go to church?
• Why do you attend church meetings?
• What do you think about in times of corporate worship?
• Why do you do good works?
• Why do you acknowledge sin in your life?
• Why do you obey your parents?

Your relationships...

• Do you talk about God with your friends?
• Do you tell non-Christians about your faith?
• Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
• Do you enjoy spending time with true Christians?
• Do you desire to serve others?

Our godly fruit is the result of salvation, not the source of salvation.  Although a true Christian is fare from perfect, patterns of godly thoughts, words, and actions are evidence of a regenerated heart.  And conversely, a lack of good fruit is usually an indication of a heart that has not been transformed by God.

  

Chapter 3 Highlights - Un-Amazing Grace: The Danger of Taking the Grace of God for Granted

The second danger church kids face is: a lack of appreciation for the saving and forgiving grace of God. 

"If only we could see our situation clearly - even for a moment.  We deserve expulsion; He gives us a diploma.  We deserved the electric chair; He gives us a parade.  Anything less than overwhelming gratitude should be unthinkable.  He owes us nothing.  We owe Him everything." - Randy Alcorn

7 Tips for Growth.  What can we do if we want to grow in our appreciation for the grace of God?

• 1. Pray
• 2. Study the holiness of God
• 3. See your sinfulness in light of God's holiness.
• 4. Learn more about God's wrath - his just response to sin.
• 5. Think deeply and often about Jesus' death on the cross.
• 6. Study the doctrine of justification - forgiven and declared righteous.
• 7. Sing great songs that focus on the grace of God.

Recognize your situation.  As a church kid, you face the danger of failing to appreciate the grace of God in your life.  Guard against growing familiar with your salvation.  Resist the temptation to wrongly view your sin as little.  Instead, glory in your salvation and view each and every one of your sins as offensive to your holy God. 

Chapter 4 Highlights - The Cost of Compromise: The Danger of Loving the World

The third dangerous tendency of church kids is: loving the world.

"The greatest enemy of hunger is not poison but apple pie.  It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world.  It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribbling of triviality we drink in every night...For when these replace an appetite for God Himself, the idolatry is scarcely recognizable, and almost incurable." - John Piper

Church kids seem to be particularly attracted to the things of the world.  We can look over the fence to the grass of the world and think it is greener. 

"If you don't feel strong desires for the manifestation for the glory of God, it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied.  It is because you have nibbled so long at the table of the world.  Your soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great." - John Piper

Chapter 5 Highlights - Biblical Greatness: Cultivating a Humble Heart

A decision we face countless times each day is: whether to follow the path of humility or the path of pride...We need to ask ourselves which individual we are more like, the Pharisee or the tax collector (Luke 18:9-14). 

Pride is not limited to self-righteousness.  Our pride can also be self-preoccupation: being overly concerned with what others think of us and strongly desiring that others would think highly of us.  Shyness can result from proudly fearing saying something stupid.  Thinking extensively of how we look or act in public can come from a deep desire to impress others. 

What can we do to grow in humility?  Here are 10 tips:

1. Pray for more humility.
2. Understand the immense difference between God and us.
3. Be aware of your weaknesses and limitations.
4. Study God's promises to be humble.
5. Study creation.
6. Spend time with people who are more gifted than you are. 
7. Learn a new skill.
8. Spend time with humble people.
9. Spend time with people who are honest with you about yourself. 
10. Serve others.

How can you help the elderly, poor, or homeless in your area?  Look for ways to serve your community by picking up trash along a road, cleaning up a local park, or mowing lawns in your neighborhood.  You can also serve at your church, especially in unseen ways: cleaning, working in the nursery, setting up chairs and tables, or running the sound system.  Consider ways to serve young children by spending time with them, taking them to a park, or coaching a sports team.  The more we focus on the needs of others, the less we will focus on ourselves. The more we serve others, the more we will learn what it means to be humble. 

Chapter 6 Highlights - More Than Mimicking Mom and Dad: Developing Personal Biblical Convictions

When your convictions are your own, you will be more prepared to resist the many temptations you will face in this world and to stand firm in times of trial. 

We need to develop our own convictions, and these convictions need to be based on the Word of God.  If we base our convictions solely on our parents' experiences, values, or rules, or even just on our personal experiences, they will not hold up in times of temptation.  A life-guiding conviction is one that we hold personally and one that is based on the Word of God. 

Three important principles in developing biblical values and living the Christian life:

1. Love and study the Word of God (Ps. 1:1-3).
2. Pray that your love for God will increase (Phil. 1:9-11).
3. Put yourself in positions in which God can work in your heart and mind (Rom. 12:2).

If an unbeliever asked you about your working philosophy of life, would you have an answer?  Are your convictions your own, or does your faith rest on the experience of someone else?  What beliefs and values drive your behaviors?

Four tips for developing personal, biblical convictions:

1. Study the lives of godly adults around you.
2. Go to the Word of God.
3. Apply the truth of the Word of God.
4. Pray.

Chapter 7 Highlights - Familiar Yet Thankful: Growing in Thankfulness for Blessings from God

Why do we often lack gratefulness for God, the Bible, our parents, and our church?  It's usually for the same reason we lack gratefulness for the abilities to speak, eat, and walk - we've grown familiar with them...The more common something is, the more we tend to take it for granted.  When we know life only in the context of a Christian home, we can take it for granted.

Seven tips for growing in gratitude:

• 1. Ask God for help.
• 2. Build a strong relationship with Christ.
• 3. Recount undeserved blessings from God.
• 4. Study specific passages of Scripture.
• 5. Regularly communicate thanks.
• 6. Seek to develop stronger relationships with Mom and Dad.
• 7. Get more involved at church.

Chapter 8 Highlights - Building a Firm Foundation: Loving the Truths of Scripture

"Children of religious parents...often grow up professing a religion without knowing why, or without ever having thought seriously about it.  And then when the realities of grown-up life begin to press upon them, they often astound everyone by dropping all their religion, and plunging right into the world.  And why?  They had never thoroughly understood the sacrifices Christianity entails.  They had never been taught to ‘count the cost.'" - J. C. Ryle

When our beliefs are just copies of our parents' values or what's expected of us at our Christian school, we probably do not have genuine faith.  When we believe certain biblical truths only because our pastor says so or our teachers believe them, we have shallow faith.  And if these never change, we will surely face a challenging season someday in the future.

We cannot make the mistake of laying a shallow foundation that is merely inches deep.  We cannot simply know the stories of the Bible and attempt to repeat what we think our parents believe.  We cannot be satisfied with surface knowledge.  We cannot take our faith casually. 

"If we pursue theological knowledge for its own sake, it is bound to go bad on us.  It will make us proud and conceited.  The very greatness of the subject matter will intoxicate us, and we shall come to think of ourselves as a cut above other Christians because of our interest in it and grasp of it." - J. I. Packer

Christians who are passionate about God but lack a depth of knowledge of biblical truth...can be hard to follow and lack consistency in their walk.  They may go through extreme ups and downs and fail to grow if they do not increase in their knowledge of the Bible.

Christians can know the stories and the facts of the Bible but fail to have a passion for God and His Word. 

Chapter 9 Highlights - Banking on God: Learning to Trust God

"The Christian's instincts of trust and worship are stimulated very powerfully by knowledge of the greatness of God." - J. I. Packer

Tips for Trusting God:

1. Pray for faith and greater trust.
2. Study Scripture to learn how trustworthy God is.
3. Study Scripture to learn how weak you are.
4. Talk with Christians who have endured significant trials.
5. Read books about trusting God.

Chapter 10 Highlights - The Fight of Your Life: Battling Sin

Church kids tend to make five critical mistakes in battling sin:

1. We do not take our sin as seriously as we should.
2. We wrongly categorize sin as "major" or "minor."
3. We lack perseverance in battling our sin.
4. We battle our sinful actions, but we fail to deal with our sinful hearts.
5. We confuse godly and worldly sorrow.

If God has done a work in our hearts, we should want to battle the sin of our hearts. 

Why should we battle sin?  Having grown up in Christian homes, we find it easy to fight sin just to avoid punishment or appease our parents.  We need to examine and, when necessary, adjust our motives for fighting the sin in our lives.

1. We must understand what sin is.
2. We need to understand that we are sinful by nature.
   1. Not remembering a time of rebellion against God or our parents, we can wrongly think we have good hearts.  Yet the opposite is true.  We are each sinful at our core. 
3. We must understand God's view of sin.
   1. God's holy character demands that he hate sin, judge sinners, and pour out his wrath on those who sin.  When we realize how much God hates sin, we will grow in our hatred for it, too. 
4. It is essential that we understand the effects of our sin.
5. We must understand the consequences of not battling our sin. 

Sin has extreme goals, and giving in to it or failing to vigilantly battle it has serious consequences. 

To truly change and consistently want to flee from sin and pursue holiness, we must want to love, obey, and please God. 

How We Battle Sin:

1. Pray to God for conviction of sin.
2. Pray for help from the Holy Spirit.
3. If we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit but cannot identify the source of sin, we need to seek help.
4. Once we have clearly identified the sin of our hearts, we need to repent and ask God to forgive us and enable us to change. 
5. We must battle our sin with the truths found in the Word of God. 

Chapter 11 Highlights - Spiritual Push-Ups: Passionately Practicing the Spiritual Disciplines

Why do some Christians continue to grow in their faith month after month and year after year but others always seem to remain the same?  I believe the difference lies primarily in their personal practice of the spiritual disciplines.  Growing Christians are disciplined, regularly placing themselves before God and his Word.

Why do we struggle so much?  Five common tendencies:

• 1. We can forget why we should practice the spiritual disciplines.
• 2. We can overlook the role of the Holy Spirit in our spiritual growth.
• 3. We can think that our discipline depends primarily on others.
• 4. We can lack discipline over time.
• 5. We can become too busy with other things.

Tom Landry, coach of the Dallas Cowboys football team for almost three decades, said, "The job of a football coach is to make men do what they don't want to do in order to achieve what they've always wanted to be."  In much the same way, Christians are called to make themselves do something they would not naturally do - pursue the Spiritual Disciplines - in order to become what they've always wanted to be, that is, like Jesus Christ. - Donald Whitney

"So many professing Christians are so spiritually undisciplined that they seem to have little fruit and power in their lives...Spiritually they are a mile wide and an inch deep.  There are no deep, time-worn channels of communing discipline between them and God.  They have dabbled in everything but disciplined themselves in nothing." - Donald Whitney

"One thing essential to growth in grace is diligence in the use of private means of grace.  By these I understand such means as a man must use by himself alone, and on one can use for him.  I include under this head private prayer, private reading of the Scriptures, and private meditation and self-examination.  The man who does not take pains about these three things must never expect to grow." - J. C. Ryle

"No Spiritual Discipline is more important than the intake of God's Word.  Nothing can substitute for it.  There simply is no healthy Christian life apart from a diet of the milk and meat of Scripture." - Donald Whitney

It isn't enough for us to simply read our Bibles.  We need to interact with God as we read Scripture.  That is, we need to read our Bibles, think carefully about what God is saying, and seek to apply scriptural truths to our daily lives. 

I recommend that you place two bookmarks in your Bible, one in the OT and one in the NT.  Each day, with a pen in hand, sit down and read at least one chapter from each testament.  As you read, look for any verse that jumps out at you and mark it with a star or underline it.  When you finish the chapter, you may have one to three verses marked.  Go back and reread them, think more about them, and ask God what he wants you to learn. 

Thinking carefully about a verse and journaling our thoughts is a practice called meditating on Scripture. 

Prayer.  I suggest making a list of people for whom you want to pray.  Keep the list manageable by breaking it up into seven different groups, and pray for one group each day.  Record the list in your journal, and be sure to write down God's answers to your prayers. 

Chapter 12 Highlights - Making the Most of It: Faithfully Stewarding Your God-Given Talents

God has blessed us abundantly with talents and opportunities, but the mere presence of those things doesn't guarantee success.  Having gifts from God doesn't mean that we are spiritually strong.  We can have them and not use them, or we can use them for our own glory instead of the Lord's.  To run the Christian race well, we must wisely invest and exercise our talents. 

Five pitfalls to faithful stewardship:

1. Laziness - failing to invest our talents.
2. Lack of faithfulness in what we consider small responsibilities.
3. Thinking that we ourselves are the source of our gifts and abilities.
4. Sowing to the flesh - doing things that serve and please ourselves.
5. Striving for earthly treasures - focusing on the present instead of eternity in heaven. 

Do you have a good understanding of the specific talents that God has given you?  Are you currently putting your gifts to work by using them to serve God?  Are you looking for more ways to put them into practice to make a greater difference for Christ and his kingdom?

5 tips to Christian stewardship:

1. Enlist the help of others to identify your gifts.
2. Remember the source of your gifts.
3. Use your gifts.
4. Learn from others.
5. Seek to be humble.